Ways to annoy Warrior cats
by HawkfireXWarrior
Summary: It's been done before, but I did it anyways.
1. Chapter 1

Ways to make Scourge rip your throat out.

Steal his collar and hide it in Tigerstar's mouth.

Claim that it's his fault and laugh as Scourge kills him.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Tell BloodClan that he loves chocolate.

Run around him screaming "The Clans are coming!" in a british accent.

Scream as he gives you a weird look then run out.

Pay Vicky Holmes to give him a body the size of a pea.

Laugh as he talks in an even squeakier voice.

"Accidently" step on him.

"Accidently" sleep on him when it's time for bed.

Pay Vicky to change him back out of pity.

Mistake him for a kit and tell him "It's bedtime mister, now go to your room!".

Hear him ask what a room is then laugh like a mad man.

Ask him if he's hungry then throw a kit at him.

Comfort him as he gives you a death glare.

Stuff cat poo in his mouth claiming that it's chocolate then watch him vomit and go on a vomiting spree, puking on every cat in his way.

Run away from camp, laughing evilly.

* * *

**Soo...what did you think? What cat should I target next huh? MUAHAHAHAHAHA.**

**Oh, about the Warriors mating thing, I think I'm gonna be done with that for now. It's too much work and I haven't caught up at all. :/ Sorry.**


	2. Yellowfang

** Mays to make Yellowfang want to feed you deathberries.**

* * *

Stomp on her tail.

Constantly call her "badger-stinky".

When she spits at you, tell her the name suits her and run away laughing.

Look over her shoulder as she sorts herbs. (remember to breathe loudly.)

Send a retarded cat with a broken tail in the camp (make sure Yellowfang is around) then scream. "LOOK! BROKENSTAR'S BACK FROM THE DEAD! HIDE THE KITS!"

Talk very loudly right next to her about how Brokenstar was such a monster and wonder how terrible his mom must be. courtesy of Petalfall11

Point and laugh as she gives you a dirty look.

Remind her that Persians don't have good hygiene.

Ask her how good Fireheart is in bed.

Poke her with a stick.

When she's not looking poke her again.

Ask her if she's ever heard of birth control.

When she looks at you funny, shrug and say "Probably would've prevented the problem.".

Whisper very quiet in her ear saying; "I'm a bee in your ear..._buzzz buzz buzzzz_..."

When she wakes up clonk her on the head with Cinderpaw's leg.

Walk out and act like nothing happened.

See her go crazy and run out of her den on two legs, foaming at the mouth.

Laugh evilly as the clan tries to chase her down then run away.

* * *

**Poor Yellowfang huh?**

**MUAHAHAHAAHA! Who should I target next?**


	3. See you soon

**Hey guys, as you know...school is almost over.**

**Half of you know what I'm going to say next...**

**I've been taking so many long breaks because Fanfiction is ****_reeeealy_**** stressful. Things happened...and I need a break.**

**See you in a couple of months...**

**With love,****Hawkfire.**


	4. Ferncloud

**Ways to make Ferncloud kill you.**

* * *

Poke her when she's sleeping then run away.

Ask her what's she doing in the nursery.

When she replies she's expecting shout out; "AGAIN?!"

Tell Dustpelt that the kits aren't his. When he asks who's the father tell him that they were Molepaw's.

Watch them argue.

Tell him it was all a mistake.

When you see the first kit pop out, yell; "That's five thousand twenty one!"

Tell Purdy to spread rumors that she's not really a cat.

She's a genetic cyborg.

That gives birth to tons of offspring.

She can also slice bagels.

When the rumors get out, watch as she starts to cry.

Comfort her then hit her with Jayfeather's broken stick.

Tell her that this chapter is going no where, then laugh in her face.

Walk out of camp like nothing happened.

* * *

**Heya...so I kinda lied about not updating for a while...I wanna spend more time on this...until then enjoy!**


	5. Jayfeather

**Ways to make Jayfeather get irritated more than usual.**

* * *

Hide his stick.

Poke his shoulder multiple times.

When he hisses for you to go away say: "Sorry, didn't notice that was yours."

Slap him in the face then run away.

Purposely eat some catmint while he's sleeping.

When you go into his den and notice Briarlight there, look at him and say: "I didn't know you were into crippled chicks."

Hold up a paw and say: "How many toes am I holding up?"

When he spits at you that he's blind, tell him that's incorrect and he should try again.

Blast music loudly in his ears.

Feel bad that he's blind and deaf then get him surgery.

Watch as he doesn't talk to you.

Step in front of him while he's walking.

Watch him bump into you.

Say: "Watch where your going!" then run around in a circle.

Watch in awe as he twitches violently.

See him foam at the mouth and STILL violently twitching.

**RUN LIKE HELL, HE'S GOT RABIES!**


	6. FierSTaer

Ways to make Firestar commit suicide

Use an epic time travel device "permanently borrowed" from Jayfeather to go back to the time Firestar was made leader.

Tell him that Tigerstar is a much better leader than him.

And a better fighter.

And hunter.

And charismatic-er.

And pursuaser.

And mater.

Watch as he stares a you like you were a talking tree.

Use the classic "FIRESTAHR DUSENT LIEK WAAFLES" on him.

Make sure to scream it.

If birds aren't flying away in terror, scream it louder.

Watch the Dark Forest cats come back and rip him apart for not liking waffles.

When they're gone, put him back together.

With staples.

And glue.

And tape.

And even mouse-bile.

Make sure to "accidentally" put his head where his butt should be.

Make up a weird name for him then call him that.

"Assfacestar" is recommended.

Laugh as he tries to adress the clan along with the rest of the cats.

Watch as he cries like a dolphin and try to put him back together.

Fail altogether.

Run away from an angry StarClan mob and go later into the future.

* * *

**Satisfied? LAST DAY OF SCHOOL TOMARROW! WOOOOOOOOOOOO**

**OH! BTW, I cannot wait until Sims 3:Island Paradise comes out! Anyone else? Post in the comments if you are! LOL!**

**I'm so hyper...**


	7. Ivypool

**How to make Ivypool go loco in da coco.**

* * *

Smudge her fur with fox-dung.

Continuously call her name until she notices you and just simply say "HI!".

Ask her how things are in the Dark Forest.

When she asks you how you knew, simply say she moans Hawkfrost's name in her sleep.

Prance around her in a circle singing Nyan Cat.

Whisper random things in her ear.

"Heyahoolaheya", "Falalalalalalalala", or "Blow mah whistle" is recommended.

Act like nothing happened the next morning.

She'll obviousy be grumpy.

Talk to her like you have a bucktooth, ask buckly if "D'aaaaw, dad ya get not enough preasure fwom Hawkyfwost lest niaght?"

When she cuffs your ear, mutter loudly to the cat next to you 'probably not'.

When her and Foxleap are cuddling, pop out of the bushes screaming at the top of your lungs; "I'M TELLING HAWKFROST, BIATCH!".

Pass out.

For minutes.

For hours.

Days.

Wake up and see that Ivypool is pregnant.

Ask her "How many are in there?".

When she replies she doesn't know, reply; "Not the kits dummy, how many toms have been in YOU?".

Run away from a steaming Ivypool.

Time travel somewhere randomly.

* * *

**SUMMER VACATIOOOON. I'm sad...:'( I'll be going to Middle School when this is over...WAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH**

**So...*sniff*...who should I get next? You can tell me ideas then I'll decide MK? MK.**


	8. Ravenpaw has a heart attack!

**Ways to make Ravenpaw have a heart attack.**

* * *

Ask him who's on top.

When he asks what you mean, say "Duh! Barley and you!"

Kill some chicks and blame it on him.

Watch him cry as he's thrown out by two-legs.

Tell the two-legs it was a mistake and that Ravenpaw didn't kill the chicks.

It was a plumber riding on a green dinosaur.

Watch as they let him back in.

When he's trying to hunt in the fields, scream really loud.

Hear him spit at you for screaming and scaring the prey.

Make up an excuse.

"Sorry, I'm just so excited for Friday."

"I felt like I was being attacked by a mutant mouse."

"I see dead people."

These are recommended.

For the last one, stare at him with wide eyes and have a deep voice.

Watch him back away slowly.

Put on a Tigerstar outfit.

Laugh evily at your plan and sneak up on him.

Tap his shoulder.

When he looks at you, scream "I'M GUNNA RAEP U!"

Watch him have a convulsion and watch him pass out.

Take it off and say it was just a prank, but then find out he really had a heart attack.

Call the cat medics and run away from the scene.

* * *

**There you are, Ravenpaw had a heart attack. :( Don't worry, he's being treated and now is in therapy. Next I will do Millie! I promise! :D**


	9. Millie

**Ways to make Millie cry herself a river.**

* * *

Tell her Graystripe loves a dead cat.

Watch them fight.

Comfort Graystripe then tell Millie that she should be ashamed.

Tie her to a chair and hit her with a bunch of stuff.

These items are reccomended;

Sticks.

Fox-Dung.

A dead creature of any kind.

Silverstream's skeleton. XD

Let her go when she empty-threats you.

Throw her off a cliff.

Revive her.

Tell her what a horrible mother she is to Blossomfall.

When she comes up with an excuse, randomly scream in her face in anger.

Kick dirt in her eyes or force her to eat corn leaves.

Pad away.

* * *

**This chapter is mostly based on my pent up anger towards Millie. She was a total bitch to her daughter in Sign of the Moon so much that it made me want to choke my cat. (And that's angry). Anyways, this had been suggested a couple of times so I figured 'Hey, why not?'.**

**More suggestions please!**

**(I may make a short-story of Millie and Blossomfall) :D**


	10. Hawkfrost

**Before you begin reading this chapter, I have a little story to tell you...**

**Once upon a time, someone reported me to Fanfiction's admins for not having a story to this. All I could think was "WTF" and 'why was I reported? People make this all of the time!'. It really made me angry. Just letting you know. So without further ado, here is:**

**Ways to make Hawkfrost haunt your dreams.**

* * *

Scream when you see him.

When he's walking in camp from a patrol or something, sing "Ridin' Dirty" as he pads by.

When he calls your name, stare at him like a freakin' fish.

Tell him you know about his plans then laugh evilly.

Watch him fight Brambleclaw.

Laugh as he loses.

He's dead now.

Laugh about that.

Go to the Dark Forest and tell him that his brother is better than him because he has a weakness (feel free to say 'fetish') to ballerinas.

Dress him in a ballerina costume (he may be reluctant) and take pictures.

Post them on Facebook.

If you don't have one, show them to your friends.

If you don't have those, just throw them at random strangers.

Show them to Tigerstar.

Watch as everyone calls him gay.

Plant ballerina shoes on him.

Run away screaming from an angry, prancing Hawkfrost.

Wake up** FAST.**

* * *

**YEAHA! New chapter! I've been SO lazy the past couple days. I've been sitting on a chair doing nothing except waiting for some public pools to open...! I WANNA SWIM! D:**

**Anyways...here you are! Enjoy!**


	11. Briarlight

**How to annoy the legs out of Briarlight**

* * *

Stomp on her tail, knowing she can't feel nothing.

When she hisses at you, continue anyways, screaming; "YO CAN'T FEEL NOOOOTHIN"

Laugh like a maniac Tigerstar eating meth sprinkles and run away.

Give Jayfeather a script on how much he loves Briarlight.

Of course he wouldn't read it, so bonk him on the head with a celery stick.

Record his lines on camera.

Show them to Briarlight and watch her squeal in delight. (HEY DAT RYMED)

Show Jayfeather Briarlight squealing in delight then watch him have a nosebleed and run away, screaming that Jayfeathers on his period.

Do the cha-cha slide backwards in front of her.

Laugh as she attempts to do so.

While she's sleeping, tie her to a rocket and scream: "TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON BIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH!"

Watch as she blasts of out of the 'sphere places and stuff.

Sleep.

Run away from a zambie asronaut Briarlight.

* * *

**This chapter was a little lazy...sorry about that. **

**Does anyone get the moon reference? Anyone?**

***crickets***

**Oookay...I want to thank FEATHERPOOL16 for the support! THANKS YOUES AND PEACE OUUUT**


End file.
